My life is a mess.
I really think relationships are messy. Sakitkan perasaan semuaorang.
The truth is I'm afraid. Because I have no luck in this. I don't wanna get hurt.
And basically I don't really want anyone else right now. Because I love him. Still. If I can't have him back, then I don't think I want to be with anyone else. At least biarlah sementara. He's everything i have. The kind of guy I wanna end up with. Actually kind of guy semua perempuan nak. That's why i have to compete dalam tak sedar. I know it's my fault. I mistreated him. But I'm willing to fix everything. Be the girl he always wanted me to be. As usual, orang mana appreciate apa dia ada. Dah hilang baru sedar.
I don't really have feelings for anyone else. Ada pun maybe sekadar "suka". Maybe it's my fault. He's cute. He's funny. He tried so hard. But it's just me. It's not that I'm not ready. The truth is, I don't want. Tak nak ada apa apa dengan sapa sapa. Maybe he deserves someone yang umur lebih kurang dia. I can't tolerate younger boys. Even dia matured macam mana pun. Just, bukan dia. Bukan sapa sapa.
I know, I had fun for the past few days. Thank you so much. But bila keluar unwanted question, rasa insecure gila. And I know I have to avoid you. So that you understand, that it's not you. It's me. And believe me, it's not that I'm not ready. I don't want. I don't want any relationship with anyone else right now. And it's not I'm afraid to try. I don't want to. So you should understand. And I'm sorry. Truly sorry.
xx
