..

I don't understand... people called me selfish. I'm not allowed to talk, I can't express what I'm feeling, I can't wear what I used to wear, I can't buy things, I can't go out, I'm not allowed to go to my dream places when I got the chance for some ridiculous and unacceptable excuses, I can't dye my own hair, I'm not allowed to tweet, not allowed to listen to my favourite songs, have to be happy/neutral all the time even when I'm not in the mood, I can't do that I can't do this.. this is suffocating....

They called me liar. Why? Whyyyy? At least I told them the fucking truth. That I went out with whoever, whenever they're not around. I told them everything. Every single thing. There's no secret between us. And I never lie. I don't get it..

They expect me to understand them and be there for them. Almost most of the time. Why? Nobody understands me! Nobody cares about me and what I have in mind. I've been keeping everything to myself. Even when I'm hurt. I've learnt something from them, that there's no point of talking, you're always wrong. I hide everything, what I'm feeling, what I have in mind. I'm in pain. For every single word they've said. But I let go of everything. And apologise. Because I don't want to lose them.

They said I never change.. but what about them? Why me? And only me? Why? Am I the only one who's not perfect here?  This is fucking unfair. But who am I to say anything? I'm no one remember? I have to respect them. And only me. They can do whatever they want. Like yell at me in front of everyone.

Even after all these shit, I'm still here. And will always be here.